smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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