Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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