There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
