If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
