Nicole vs. Life
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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