I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
