He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Green mimosas i think yes
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize