distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
