hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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