I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Even my vagina gasped.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
