I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
