im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
