bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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