so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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