I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
