Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
