Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
