My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The power of my boobs compel you
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize