I puked a lego.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
