sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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