im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
