i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
