Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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