He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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