Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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