I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
