wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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