Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
