Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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