before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
