last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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