I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
