you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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