Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
