i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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