Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
