how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
