apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
