WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
