she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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