so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
