piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
