Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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