so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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