He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
