The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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