I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
