the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize