even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize