I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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