having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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