What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
