Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
