New invention idea: vibrating tampons
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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