Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
