; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i barfeds in our rink
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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